i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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