O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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