he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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