Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize