Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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