Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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