Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize