i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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