I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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