Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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