He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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