I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have fence marks all over my body
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize