I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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