He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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