He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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