"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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