I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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