Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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