2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize