I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize