I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize