My room smells like vodka and shame
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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