the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize