she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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