haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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