i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize