yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize