Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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