I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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