I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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