I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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