Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize