if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
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If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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