all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize