don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize