so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
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It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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