Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize