im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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