She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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