so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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