"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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