Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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