i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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