**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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