If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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