I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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