he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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