Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
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My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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