I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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