Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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